Breaking Clear (Full Hearts Series Book 3) Page 14
“You can stop anytime you want,” she replied, licking her lips.
“Then we better hope nobody calls the cops,” he murmured, letting his hand find its way under her dress, finding her naked, hot and wet. He groaned with desire as his palm covered her warm flesh.
Harper reached down, tugging his shirttail out of his pants and unbuckling his belt. Frantically unzipping his pants, she pulled them down as he lifted his hips to help her. There was nothing between them now as he pressed his smooth, hard length against her. He guided himself inside her as she lowered herself over him, taking in every inch he had to give. She squeezed her tight sex around him, drenching him as she ground back and forth on his lap.
“Oh God, Harper, you’re so fucking hot,” he told her, his words increasing her wild desire. She picked up her pace, moving more forcefully now. He was in so deep, nothing could be better than this. She revelled in the feeling of his powerful hands gripping her hips as he took control, slowing her to tortuously long drags now. She watched as he looked down at her full breasts, his hands raking her back and forth on his lap. But when his gaze turned to her eyes, it was full of adoration. Shutting her eyes tightly, she tried to forget that look. Forget the part of her that wished he was in love with her. This is just sex, it means nothing, she told herself over and over.
She gave herself over to the lie, releasing her fears and just allowing herself to feel the pleasure of what he was doing to her, in her. He pressed her down onto his lap even harder, their bodies becoming one explosive mass of flesh and bone. He covered her mouth with his as she started to come, muffling the sounds of ecstasy erupting from her throat.
When it was over, he drew her close to him as they recovered. “Wow, Harper. What was that about?”
“I don’t know,” she answered. “I just needed to have you.”
* * *
An hour later, they lay tangled together in Evan’s sheets. They’d gone straight to bed when they arrived home, stripping each other’s clothes off the moment they got in the door. Now the moon had risen in the sky, and by the time they’d had their fill of each other, it provided their only light.
“I think I’ll have to take you out for dinner more often,” Evan said, lazily running a finger along her side.
“Agreed. That was amazing.” Harper’s stomach let out a loud growl, interrupting the moment.
“Now that I’ve satisfied your lust, I should satisfy your hunger.” He got up and pulled on a pair of grey lounge pants, then tossed her one of his T-shirts. “Let’s eat.”
A few minutes later, they sat side by side at the kitchen table, swirling noodles with forks and sipping ice-cold water by the light over the stove.
“Even reheated, this is delicious.” Harper picked up her glass and took a long gulp. “Thank you for taking me out tonight, Evan. This might have been my favourite meal of all time. I especially enjoyed the course between the bread and the main.”
“Hands down. Best. Meal. Ever.” He grinned over at her and rested his hand on her knee.
Harper returned his smile, plucking the last prawn off his plate with her fork and popping it into her mouth.
“My last prawn? That’s just evil! I was saving it for the end!”
Harper covered her mouth as she laughed. “Sorry, it sat there so long that I thought you didn’t want it.”
“No, I always save my favourite thing on the plate for the last bite.” He shook his head at her. “Why would I have ordered prawns if I didn’t like them?”
“Good point. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had that whole ‘saving the best for last’ thing going on. Won’t happen again.” She planted an apology kiss on his cheek. “I would offer you some of mine but I know how much you hate mushrooms.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure you’ll make it up to me.”
“Sure. You think of a way and I’ll consider making it up to you.” She gave him a sideways glance.
“You don’t sound that sorry.” Evan’s voice was incredulous.
“I’m not that sorry. That prawn was delicious. Like, ‘melt in your mouth’ delicious.” Harper laughed out loud as Evan tickled her in retribution.
“Okay! I give!” She laughed. “I’ll make it up to you!”
“Good. Because my fingers have a lot more tickling in them yet.”
“How about a naked massage?”
“Done. And please note that you may always eat my last bite if that is how you pay me back.”
* * *
An hour later, they both flopped back down onto the bed, glistening with sweat, wearing only satisfied expressions.
“So, are we even?” Harper asked.
“And then some,” Evan answered, pulling the covers over them before lying back on his pillow. He ran a finger down the centre of her chest. “Tell me one thing I don’t know about you. Something you’ve never told anyone.”
“Oh God, that’s a tough one. Let me think . . .” She stared at the ceiling for a minute. “Okay, this one is really embarrassing, so I’m going to need to hear something of equal or greater value. If I don’t, there will be consequences,” she said, trying to sound ominous.
“No problem. I’ve done lots of stupid shit in my life.”
Harper laughed. “True. Okay, then. When I started at Style, I was a lowly intern, fresh out of design school. After a few weeks, I was graced by being in the same room as Cybill Hart for a few minutes, but of course it couldn’t have happened at the right time.”
“Naturally.”
“I knew who she was, obviously, but I had never expected to meet her in person. Anyway, I was in the closet—that’s what we call this enormous room filled with row after row of racks jammed with clothes. I was supposed to be putting away a rack that had been used for a shoot that day. It was late, no one was around—or so I thought—so I decided to try something on. I had my eye on this gorgeous Valentino gown—it was a black silk duchesse with these delicate, hand-painted flowers. I stripped down and slid it on, but it was probably a size two, so there was no way I was going to be able to zip it up. I barely managed to squeeze into it and had to leave it open at the back. I was standing in front of the mirror admiring myself when who did I see standing behind me?”
“Cybill.”
“Mmhmm. I was so humiliated and terrified, I think my whole body turned red. I started making all these apologies and excuses while I hurried over to this curtained-off area to take off the dress, only I was stuck. I had shimmied myself in and now I couldn’t slide the straps off.”
“Oh shit.” Evan laughed.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking as I stood in the dressing area, sweating all over this ten-thousand-dollar gown, wishing I could hide under a rock for the rest of my life. I was sure my career was over.”
“So why wasn’t it?”
“Turns out she shouldn’t have been in their either. She’d been in one of the aisles when I came in, and let’s just say it wasn’t her husband who had his hands all over her ass. She thought I had seen them. The next morning she came and found me and did the whole ‘I didn’t see you if you didn’t see me’ thing.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, in the end I think it actually might have helped my career, since I proved I could keep my mouth shut. She got divorced a year later, though.”
“Wow. Crazy. But I have to know, how’d you get out of the dress?”
“I waited in the closet for an hour, then managed to find another intern and begged her to help me wriggle my way out of it. I had marks on my shoulders from those straps for two days.”
Evan chuckled. “Can you describe that in more detail? Starting with what the other intern looked like?”
Harper laughed, giving him a light smack on the arm. “Alright, you’re up.”
“Up for what?” Evan asked, trying his best to seem authentically confused.
“You know exactly what. You owe me one embarrassing story.” Harper pursed her lips at him.
“Oh,
right.”
“Were you hoping I’d forget?”
“Maybe.”
“You should know me better than that by now, Donovan.”
“Alright, I guess I owe you one. Hmm. Oh! The first time I had supper at Avery’s parents’ house. That’s a classic. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“That bad? Ooh, yay!” she exclaimed.
“So you can imagine how nervous I was to be going there. Went out and bought new clothes, picked up a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers for her mom, and then I must have spent over half an hour staring at labels on wine bottles, trying to pick the right one on my way over. When I got back in my car—I had just leased a little black Porsche at the time—”
“Nice.” Harper interjected.
“It was. Anyway, when I got back in the car I realized I was going to be late. A total no-no when you meet the parents. I jump in and zoom over, weaving in and out of traffic, running yellow lights, basically driving like a total asshole. So I go in, give her mom the flowers and the wine and notice that her dad’s not at the door to greet me. A couple of minutes later he comes in the door, looking thoroughly pissed off. He points at me and says, ‘You!’
“I didn’t know what to do so I extended my hand and said, ‘Good evening, sir,’ trying to think of why he could possibly be so angry with me. He says, ‘Don’t sir me, and don’t think you are ever going to be driving my daughter around in that little death trap of yours!’”
“Oh shit.”
“Exactly what I was thinking. Turns out he had been one of the people I had zigged and zagged around. He saw me run a yellow. He claims it was red; he may have been right. I had scared the shit out of him when I cut in front of him, and he spilled his coffee all over his pants.”
“So you might have been better off being a few minutes late, then.”
Evan laughed. “Possibly. As it turned out, it didn’t matter in the end. We were never going to like each other anyway.”
“God, that must have been insanely awkward.”
“Yes. Yes, it was.”
“What did Avery say?”
“Turns out it did a little something for her. She liked the whole bad-boy thing at the time.”
“I shouldn’t have asked.”
“In the end that doesn’t matter either, does it?” Evan replied with a shrug.
“Do you miss it? The Porsche, I mean,” Harper asked, happy to change the subject from that of his ex-wife.
“A little, once in a while. It was pretty sweet. But to be totally honest, it was never that comfortable. Sports cars aren’t great for tall guys.”
“I never thought of that.”
“Sad but true. It’s one of the great tragedies of life.”
“There must be a support group somewhere for that.”
They lay together for a moment, Evan running his fingertips along the length of her arm. “You know what? I think this is my favourite moment of us together so far.”
“Of course. We’ve had sex three times this evening and we’re both naked.”
“No, I mean, this moment right now. Just really talking.” He planted a kiss on her forehead.
* * *
A little while later as Harper drifted off to sleep, Evan lay awake watching her, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He thought of how she’d used the term trash to describe her family, and it made him ache for her. On the outside, she was a tough, savvy, sexy woman, but tonight he’d had another glimpse behind the mask. The pain of her past was so carefully hidden away that no one would ever see it. He’d gotten too close tonight and she had done the only thing she knew how, which was to take them back to being just physical. But he was way beyond that now. He thought of the anger he’d felt when his mom had brought up Harper’s past. The instinct to protect her was automatic then, just as it was now, as she lay in his arms. He was going to protect her for as long as she would let him. Even if that meant protecting her from his own unwelcome feelings.
His mind wandered back to the promise he had made her, that he would never ask for more than she could give. But tonight he’d come close. He had wanted to ask her to stay. Forever.
Twenty
“So, that head shrinker you’ve got me seeing says we need to talk about your mom. She’s pretty sure that what happened is stopping all of us from moving on with our lives.” Roy paused to spoon some oatmeal into his mouth. “And I think she might have something there.”
Harper lifted her chin defiantly. “Well, I can only speak for myself but I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to move on just fine.”
“Have you? According to her, there’s a difference between running and moving on. It seems to me like you’ve just been running, like the rest of us.”
Harper set her gaze at the window. She hadn’t yet asked Roy if he still missed Petra and this seemed like the perfect opening. “You probably don’t remember, but when you first woke from your surgery, you called me Petra. You said you missed her.”
Roy nodded slowly as though trying to take in this bit of news. “If you had brought that up a few weeks ago, I would have lied to you, but I can see now that it’s time to face the truth about everything. Part of me has always missed her—well, what we had more than her, really. It felt like we had a family when she was still here. But it kind of dissolved when she left, didn’t it?”
Harper nodded but stayed silent.
“I don’t want her back, Harper. I never will. I do want to have my family back, though, and in order to do that, we need to talk about what happened.”
“I’m fine. We’re fine,” Harper answered firmly.
Roy waited a moment before speaking again. “We’re not fine. And as much as I have to sort all this out for myself, you need to do the same. The thing is Harper, it’s my fault—”
“It’s certainly—” Harper started but Roy’s finger in the air silenced her.
“And I want to fix this if I can. I should have gotten you and the boys some help when the whole thing happened. But I was so wrapped up in my own . . . head . . . and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted the whole thing to just go away. I figured bringing it up would be a lot worse for you than trying to forget about it.”
“It’s been twenty years, Dad. We can just forget it now.”
“I don’t think we can. When I think about you kids, I can see that it’s not over, no matter how much I wish it was. I know how hard it is for you to be back here. I know you’re ashamed when you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. You should hold your head high wherever you go, because you’re a good person—a strong, successful woman. But I worry about you and your brothers. Not one of you has gotten married or had kids. Hell, I don’t even think any of you have shacked up with someone. It’s not a coincidence, is it?”
Harper glared at her father. “Just because I haven’t gotten married doesn’t mean I don’t have the life I want. I have—had—a pretty kick-ass career and a terrific life, and I’m going to get it back when the time is right. I don’t really care what your therapist says.” Harper tapped her chest with her finger. “I get to choose the life I want.”
Roy tilted his head thoughtfully. “You do, kid. You get to decide for yourself, but just make sure you aren’t ruling out some wonderful possibilities because they scare you, okay? Make the life you really want. Really, deep down.”
“I have. I’m fine, so let’s just drop it, okay?” Harper’s bottom lip trembled. She bit down on it to force it back in line. “I should go. I have an appointment with one of the Fashion Forward ladies at eleven.” She stood to leave.
“Okay. I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just really want you to live the life you want. I know what it’s like to look back and see that you didn’t. I’ve spent months now with nothing but time to think about all the things I regret.” Roy reached for Harper’s hand and took it in his. His eyes filled with tears. “It’s too late for me in a lot of ways. I can’t go back and change my life, but nothing would make me happi
er than seeing you and your brothers live your dreams.”
Harper screwed up her chin, trying to stop her tears. “It’s not too late for you. Don’t say that, okay?”
Roy nodded. “Well, it’s too late for a lot of things. I can’t start over with you kids, I can’t go back and do a better job of things after your mother left, but if I can help you somehow, it’ll mean I didn’t fuck all this up completely.”
“You didn’t fuck anything up, Dad. Mom did that on her own. You did the best you could to clean up her mess.”
“There’s still a lot left to do. And I aim to do it. I need you to let me finish cleaning up.” Roy squeezed her hand.
Harper nodded. “Okay. I won’t fight you, but really, know that I’m okay, Dad.”
“Good girl. I love you, kid. So much.” Roy smiled through his tears. “You’re strong and smart and you’re good to the core. And I know I haven’t told you this enough, but I’m so proud of you.”
* * *
The next morning, instead of going straight to the clinic, Harper drove downtown for breakfast and a little shopping. She parked and strolled across the quiet street to the little diner where she and Megan had agreed to meet and saw her waving enthusiastically as she approached. Giving each other a quick but warm hug, they went inside and settled themselves into a booth to get caught up. Because neither woman needed to scan the menu, knowing she would order the same thing she always did, they were able to dive right into girl talk.
“Dish. I need details,” Megan said.
Harper laughed. “It’s like . . . volcano-hot sex.”
Megan’s eyes grew wide. “Wow. That good?”
“I’m having so many orgasms I’m starting to worry I’ll run out.”
“Not possible.”
The waitress came by with two waters and a pot of coffee. They ordered before picking up the conversation where they had left off.
Megan gave her a questioning look. “But what else? Do you think it’s going to go anywhere?”
“Definitely not. Which is exactly why it’s working so well. We both knew the score going in. I’m only here for a while, then it’ll be done. I’m thinking that actually adds to the heat, knowing it’s temporary.”