Don't Let Go: A Full Hearts Novella Page 6

  His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on the passenger-side window. Ben jerked his head in surprise and his eyes were gifted with the sight of Alicia’s blue eyes. He pulled the key from the ignition and got out with a sheepish look on his face.

  “So, were you going to just sit there all evening or were you planning to come in?” she asked, shifting the brown paper grocery bag in her arms. She was wearing a light-blue tank top over cut-off jeans and she looked sexy in that girl-next-door sort of way, with her hair in two loose braids down the sides of her head.

  “Oh, um. Yeah, I was just thinking of saying hi, but then I thought maybe I shouldn’t.”

  “And why wouldn’t you? Are you scared of me?” Alicia asked, with a teasing expression.

  “I’m not scared of you. Your dad, maybe,” he told her, purposely steering the conversation away from the topic of her dating status. He didn’t know if he could handle another disappointment just then. Kicking a rock with his boot, he waited a beat before glancing up at her from under his ball cap with a little grin.

  “That just shows you’re not stupid,” she laughed. Tilting her head to the side, she smiled back at him. “I heard you were back in town.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am,” Ben replied, keeping his tone light to avoid showing the painful reason for his being back home. He strode around the side of the truck and took the bag from her arms, brushing her warm, silky skin with his fingertips as he did. This briefest of touches brought back a flood of memories for him. Memories of their night together under the stars and the weeks that followed. Memories that threatened any plans that were starting to take seed in his mind about setting off to see new parts of the world.

  “I heard you might be hanging up your cleats for good this time?” Alicia asked softly.

  Ben nodded, pausing for a moment before answering. “I am. It just wasn’t going to happen for me so I’ll have to hope I’m better at something else than I am at baseball. There must be something, right?”

  “There are lots of things that you’ll be wonderful at, Ben,” Alicia answered confidently as they turned and slowly made their way toward her parents’ house.

  “I wish I was as sure as you sound. I’m going back to being a rookie, only I don’t have the first damn clue what I’m going to do now,” he said as they turned up the sidewalk to her house.

  Their pace slowed even more so that now, as they took the steps up to her front door, their feet were barely moving. Neither of them knew where the conversation was going to go and both were reluctant to let it end. When they reached the top of the steps, Alicia turned and sat on the wooden porch, patting the spot next to her as a silent request for Ben to join her. Ben set the bag down and let his body flop down beside her just as his stomach let out a loud growl.

  He pressed his stomach with his hand, hoping to stifle the loud sound. “Excuse me.”

  “I take it you haven’t eaten yet,” she stated.

  “Not just yet. I lost track of time,” Ben admitted.

  “I might have a fix for that right here. It won’t be healthy, though. I just went on a junk food run,” Alicia said, pulling the bag over to her and digging around for a moment. She pulled out a box of ice cream sandwiches and held it up to him.

  “Mmm, those look good. I can’t take it though. I didn’t come here to bum supper off you.”

  Alicia opened the box and placed one firmly in his palm. “It’s not supper, it’s a snack. And it will save me from hearing that incredibly loud noise your stomach is making.”

  “So I’m doing you a favour if I eat it?” Ben asked with a grin.

  “Yes, it would help me out a great deal. Don’t make me beg, Ben Mitchell.”

  “You’d never have to beg me for anything, Alicia,” Ben answered meaningfully as he unwrapped the treat, shoving half of it in his mouth in one big bite. Alicia unwrapped hers and bit off a small corner. They sat quietly, both grateful for the food as a distraction from the unanswered questions that they were too scared to bring up. Ben’s eyes fixed themselves on Alicia’s lean, tanned thighs for a long moment as he chewed. An urge to run his hand along the smooth surface of her skin came over him, causing him to take another large bite of his sandwich. He swallowed hard and balled up the wrapper. Without missing a beat, Alicia reached in the box and handed him another sandwich. “For me, please.”

  “Only if you’re sure,” Ben said, gently bumping her arm with his.

  “Oh, I insist,” Alicia told him. She leaned against his strong arm, letting herself enjoy the warmth of the moment. Looking over at him, she let her eyes drink in the sight of his strong jaw, his smooth, freshly shaved face, his perfect lips. She spotted a bit of ice cream on the side of his mouth and reached up without thinking to wipe it off with her finger. Ben turned his face to hers and gazed into her eyes. He watched as she licked the white cream from her finger, an act so familiar and intimate that it made his pulse quicken as though she had just run that tongue all over him. His need for her grew thick as they sat in the warm night air. Ben wanted nothing more than to lean in and let his lips brush against hers. He could almost feel the soft warmth of her mouth and taste the vanilla.

  Alicia’s face hardened suddenly, as if she was pulling back from the tender moment they had just shared. She stared out at the house across the street as its porch light came on. “What are you here for, Ben?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t know exactly. For some reason that I can’t explain, my truck brought me here. Must be because it’s sick of me going on about you all the time.”

  Alicia hid the tiny smile on her face by staring down at her feet, forcing her voice to become serious. “And just why would you be doing that? You were pretty sure there wasn’t anything worth hanging on to when you first left for Salem.”

  Ben sighed heavily, feeling the weight of his choices. “Yeah, I was an idiot back then. I had all these ideas that everything better was waiting for me out there.”

  “Including girls,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “No. Honestly, Alicia, I was too busy thinking about baseball to have girls on my mind at the time. I was fixed on playing in the majors and I had myself convinced that I needed to get out of here to find adventure, excitement, a better life.”

  She fixed him with a skeptical stare. “And just what did you discover out there?”

  “I discovered that every place is kind of the same. The scenery and weather change, but what happens there is no different. People work, live, have families, have dreams, succeed and fail. The funny thing is that there is nowhere with scenery that I like more than Colorado and there sure as shit aren’t any people I’d rather spend my life with than the ones who are here.”

  He looked her straight in the eye as he spoke, trying to discern what she might be thinking. Her face softened a little as she listened to him and Ben paused, waiting for her to say something. He was scared to say much more before he knew if she was dating anyone. As he took in the sight of her, he knew he needed to admit how he felt about her if he was ever going to have a chance to win her back.

  “Ben, I—” she started.

  Not wanting to give her a chance to reject his offer, he interrupted her. “Alicia, wait. Now, I don’t know if you are still going out with that blond guy or not, but I really need to say something to you and it’s something I should have said years ago. You’re the only girl for me and I never should have let you go. It’s my biggest regret in life. Bigger than not making the majors, by far. You offered me everything that a guy could want and I was too stupid to take it. I don’t know if you’d ever be willing to give me another shot, but if you do, I promise I’m ready to be the man you thought I was back then. I know what’s important in life and I know it has everything to do with being with the person you’re meant to be with. And you’re that person for me. I met a lot of girls in the past few years and not one of them held a candle to you. Not one. And I’m sorry that I hurt you, Alicia. If I could take that back, I would in a heartbe
at.”

  The moment was interrupted by the sound of her dad’s voice through the screen door. “I’m going to look for her. She should have been back by now.”

  His heavy footsteps closed in on them, causing Ben to straighten his back and slide away from Alicia. “There you are. I was just going out to find you.”

  “I’m twenty-one, Dad. I know how to get to the store and home again,” Alicia said, her voice lacking the usual irritation it had in response to her father’s overprotectiveness. She was far too distracted trying to process Ben’s admission to make any attempt to convince her dad that she was a grown-up.

  Mr. Williams’ eyes hardened as he took in the sight of Ben with his only child. “Ben.” It was a statement of fact more than a greeting.

  “Good evening, Mr. Williams,” Ben returned, looking up at the bulky frame of Alicia’s father.

  “I see you’ve been eating my ice cream sandwiches,” he said in a clipped tone, making it very clear that Ben shouldn’t be touching his things and definitely not his daughter.

  “Sorry, sir. I’ll replace them.” Ben swallowed hard what was left in his mouth, trying to rid himself of the evidence.

  “How about you keep away from my dessert and my daughter?” His expression was as icy as his tone.

  Alicia stood, placing the box in the bag and lifting the groceries to her dad. She gave him a meaningful, stern look and mouthed, “Stop it!” to him.

  Her dad returned her glare and took the bag from her. He dug around in the box and mumbled, “Three? You ate three already?” as he went back in the house.

  Ben stifled a nervous laugh as Alicia sat back down next to him.

  “Wanna go for a walk?” Ben asked. “I need to go pick up a gift for your dad.”

  “A gift? I have a feeling I know what you are going to get him.”

  “I’m sure you do,” Ben said, standing up and holding his hand out to help her up.

  Alicia called through the screen door, “Just going for a walk with Ben! Be back in a bit!”

  They heard her dad yell, “I don’t think you are!” and her mom overruling him with an “Okay, honey!”

  “Your dad doesn’t like me much,” Ben observed as they strolled down the street.

  “Of course he doesn’t. He’s not exactly going to be a fan of any guy who breaks his little girl’s heart.” Alicia replied plainly.

  “Sounds about right. I would hate me too if I were him,” he answered. Pausing for a moment, he let her words sink in. “Shit. I really broke your heart, hey?”

  “Yeah, you pretty much shattered it,” Alicia confirmed, without looking up at him.

  Ben’s stomach churned at her words. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Leesh. I know saying that won’t fix anything, but I want you to know it’s how I feel. And if you do give me a chance to make it up to you, I would do just about anything.”

  “I might consider it.”

  “Well, that’s really more than I could ask for. I’ll take it,” he said firmly, with a broad grin. “You still going out with that blond guy?”

  “Mark?” Alicia stopped and turned to face him. “No, I broke it off with him. There was just something about him that didn’t sit right with me.”

  “Oh yeah?” Ben asked as he internally hollered Hell yeah! He stood in front of her, trying his level best to play it cool. “Do you mind telling me what he did wrong? That kind of information would be real useful to a fellow.”

  “It would, would it?” Alicia gave him a slight grin. “Well, I was raised to help others, so it would only be right if I told you.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Mark’s biggest flaw was that he wasn’t you.”

  Ben’s smile at hearing this consumed his entire face. “Poor bastard,” he said in a low tone as he stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “I know. There was really nothing he could do about it,” Alicia responded, her voice thick with desire. She let her palms settle on his chest, feeling the surge of sexual energy pass back and forth between them.

  Ben lowered his face to hers and let his mouth hover over hers for a moment. “He shouldn’t feel too bad about it, then. It was completely out of his control.”

  Alicia closed her eyes and parted her lips as Ben closed the distance between their mouths. He pressed her body to his tightly as they kissed. It wasn’t a gentle, slow kiss, but it certainly wasn’t rough, either. It was the perfect blend of young passion, of long-lost love and of a beautiful future together. It was the kiss that told her that she was the only one who would ever have his heart.

  He pulled back from her for a moment and pressed his forehead to hers. “I finally know how the story ends.”

  Alicia gave him a confused look but before she could ask anything, his mouth crushed over hers again.

  FIVE

  Atlanta, Georgia—2008

  Ben arrived at Ian’s large house around nine in the evening. He parked the rental car on the large circular driveway and took a deep breath before getting out. This was his first time seeing his friend’s enormous home and something about its vastness made it seem all the more empty now. Ringing the bell repeatedly, then knocking loudly, Ben waited patiently for an answer. When none came, he realized how dark the house was. He decided to walk around to the backyard, hoping to find Ian there. Luckily, the wrought-iron gate at the side of the house was unlocked, so Ben made his way through the darkness to the back patio.

  A single light above the sink in the kitchen spilled out the window and lit a tiny portion of the patio. Ben’s eyes, now adjusted to the darkness, took in the outline of the back of his friend’s head as it wavered slightly from its position in a lounge chair facing the pool. He watched as Ian took a long drag on the bottle of Johnnie Walker that he held in his right hand.

  Not wanting to startle Ian, Ben cleared his throat before speaking. “So, this is where you live,” he stated, walking around the perimeter of the stone patio until he was standing in full view of his friend.

  He watched as Ian’s body stiffened. He sat completely frozen aside from tightening his grip on the glass bottle.

  Ben spoke again as he settled himself on the lounge chair next to Ian’s. “I like it. Very nice spot you’ve got here.”

  Ian glanced at him, then set his eyes back on the pool. The two sat quietly for a long moment before he finally spoke up, his words slurring. “So, she called you to come get me cleaned up.”

  “She’s scared for you, Ian.”

  “Bullshit. She just wants me to get back to playing ball so I can buy her all the fancy crap she likes.” Ian glared at Ben and pointed at him with the bottle to emphasize his meaning.

  Ben’s face wore an unmistakable look of pity. “Nah, not Megan, man. She’s one of the good ones. She wants you to be healthy because she loves you. She doesn’t need all of this. Never did.” Ben gestured with his hand at their surroundings.

  “Oh, really? Then why the fuck did she up and leave with our son a few days ago? As soon as shit wasn’t perfect she just fucking took off.”

  “Well, I’m sure it feels that way to you right now, Ian. I’m sure it feels real fucking awful to have her leave and take little Elliott. I’m sure it hurts like hell.”

  “What the fuck would you know about it?” Ian charged. “You’ve never been left! Not by your dad! Not by your mom! Not by your fucking wife, either! You don’t know the first goddamned thing about being left!”

  Ben sat patiently, doing his best to stay calm and allow his friend’s anger to slide off him. “You’re right, Ian. I don’t know what it would be like and I wish like hell you didn’t know, either. I’m here for you now, though. Let me help you out.”

  Ian’s shoulders slumped as silent tears ran down his face. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to prevent the onslaught of tears now streaming from his eyes. His shoulders shook as he finally relented to the wave of emotions he was feeling.

  Ben leaned over and put his hand on Ian’s shoulder and gently took the bottle
out of his hand, taking a swig himself. He stayed beside Ian for a long time, silently waiting for him to let it out. Before long, Ian passed out. Ben went in the house and found two blankets. Bringing them back outside, he covered his friend with one and settled himself into another lounge chair to get some sleep. It was a hot Georgia night, and the air was so still it was as though nothing dared to move under the watchful eye of the moon. As Ben stared up at the stars, he knew without a shadow of a doubt how lucky he had been to be born into his own family. He had grown up with two parents who loved each other, loved him and had the ability and means to take care of him. Up until this moment, part of him had felt envious of Ian’s life—the money, the success, the excitement. For the past several years, Ian had been living the dream that was Ben’s while Ben and Alicia had been struggling to make their mortgage payments. But now as he looked over at his friend, broken and alone, he realized that Alicia had been right—of the two of them, Ben was the rich one.

  * * *

  Three weeks later, Ben walked out of the arrivals section of the Colorado Springs Airport. He was worn to the bone but as soon as he saw his wife, a broad smile lit up his entire face. Rushing to her, he dropped his bag on the floor and wrapped her in the tightest, longest hug he had ever given her. Nothing in his life had ever felt so energizing and wonderful to him. He breathed in the smell of her light perfume and kissed her hard on the mouth. Resting his forehead against hers, he grinned. “Mmm, there’s my girl. I missed you so much. I never want to be away from you for that long again,” he told her, holding his hands up to her face and staring straight into her beautiful eyes.

  Tears of relief threatened to spill out of Alicia’s eyes but she blinked them back. “You’d better not. That was three weeks too long. Now let’s get you home so I can welcome you properly.”

  They drove back to the house, Ben holding Alicia’s hand on his knee the entire way. It was a bittersweet reunion filled with a detailed account of the past twenty-one gruelling days. Ben had looked after Ian until he was able to get him into a good rehab facility. He filled her in on what it was like to see his friend in such bad shape and to help him through more than one terrifying episode before he was finally able to make the quiet and sad drive with Ian to an addiction centre just outside of Savannah. Ben described the ranch-like atmosphere and his optimism for Ian now that he was where he needed to be.